Hi everyone! It’s been a little while… a few months, to be precise, since I’ve updated my blog. Today will be a bit more of a writing on what happened and what I’ve been up to since I’ve been gone. I suppose it’s more of a life update rather than anything else, so if you’re just interested in books perhaps this post won’t be as interesting for you.
Now that our little introduction is out of the way, the real reason I’m writing this post is because I think being open, honest and speaking about issues is really important and makes a difference.
I’m the first to admit reading and everything bookish is my way of escapism, but it slowly became something else for me. I was writing this blog, posting on Instagram, taking bookish photos often (at least once a week) and encapsulating myself entirely in everything to do with books. This is great! I love books, I love reading, I love cover designs, discovering new authors and making new friends in the community.
Then it wasn’t so great.
I’ve been dealt a pretty bad hand when it comes to mental health throughout my life but I’ve always “managed” with the experiences I’ve had. This was up until a few months ago and then a lot of my life imploded. Nothing had happened that would reason or explain why this happened, but it happened.
I struggled getting up each day. I struggled to shower, struggled to really care for myself. My bedroom slowly became messier and messier. I stopped taking pictures for Instagram, choosing instead to bask in nothingness. I isolated myself from my friends, family and housemates. I couldn’t even bring myself to open Instagram, let alone post a picture and interact.
Once it began pushing its way over into my work I knew I had to get help. Not because I wanted to (as bad as that may sound) but because I needed to make sure I could work so I could be able to live. I made an appointment with my doctor and spoke to him about what was going on. He prescribed me antidepressants to take each day and referred me to an online course.
It helped a little but not as much as I wanted so I referred myself to a therapist and was on the waiting list for a few months when I was finally given an assessment and a time slot!
I’ve been in therapy only three weeks but I can’t even describe the difference it’s made already in my life. I still have lots of ups and downs and some days are certainly harder than others but I feel so much more prepared for the “down days” that they don’t create issues as they used to.
So far, I’ve realised that I need to have some sort of outlet for my feelings and I think my blog will help a lot for that. I also know that I need to make sure that I speak to people regularly (if I can!) and when I’m beginning to isolate myself that I should try to notify someone so they know I’m ok.
On the other side, I also know that wanting to lie in bed for a few hours is ok and something I can do if I need to “recharge”. At the moment it’s been lying down and messing around on my phone and taking baths. Reading and books also, of course, help lots!
So I just wanted to say hello there, again. I’m feeling much better and motivated to do things on my blog, on Instagram (I’ve already started posting a lot more frequently on there; I’m currently trying to post once a day) and on Twitter, too. If you’re not following me on Instagram or Twitter I’d recommend it, I’ve been posting lots on there. I’m aiming to post once a week on my blog and I’ve already got lots of ideas!
Overall, I’m slowly learning and remembering what I enjoyed before I experienced a mental health nosedive. It’s a long road but it’s actually quite exciting!
Thank you for reading my ramble about my mental health; I think it won’t be my last post about it…. but let’s get back onto books shall we?
Now that I’m back, please send me some posts from you that I’ve missed so I can spread the love!